dictionary.com definitions...
agonostic - a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.
atheist - a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings
I've done this blogging thing poorly for awhile now. I get a decent start and then I fizzle out. Life gets busy and this is the first thing to go. My husband recommended that I start a new one to write about living in a Christian world as an agnostic/atheist. Since this is a subject I think about a lot, live every day, and talk about when I can, I thought it was a good idea. I might suck at updating on the kids' latest antics (because seriously, does anyone besides us even care?), but I'm hoping I can make this one stick.
Honestly, I've been agnostic for a very long time. I've told people I'm agnostic for a very long time. OK, so I hadn't actually told anyone in awhile, but only because it just didn't seem polite. Also didn't seem very prudent for my or my kids' social lives to blurt out that I doubted the existence of their (Christian) god when living in a very red neighborhood/town/county.
It's been a long, sometimes sad, sometimes lonely, sometimes infuriating, couple of years out here in suburbia. And during that time, I've been pushed very hard by a neighbor to attend church with her. Thing was, I actually wanted to when she first mentioned it. Not so much for me. I *knew* I was agnostic, but for my kids. I wanted them to exposed to religion so they could make their own decisions as adults. Thought they needed to experience church/religion to have the knowledge to decide.
Ironically, my neighbor's incessant pushing actually made me realize I'm actually an atheist. I'm pretty sure that's not what they're teaching in Proselytizing 101. (And I'm also pretty sure my neighbor failed the course.)
Here's the thing. I did research her church and their beliefs. And they were so far out of line from my own that I started questioning my beliefs even more. Did I really believe that human knowledge, my very own knowledge, was too limited to experience god? Or did I truly just disbelieve his/her existence altogether? I read articles, I participated in message board discussions about many aspects of religion, I took quizzes on beliefnet.com, and on and on an on.
Turns out I'm actually an atheist. Who knew?
So how'd I get here? And where am I going?
Stop back soon for the answers.
